Something Like That

Two Sundays ago at church I was pulled out during the last song to speak with a man looking for money. It was told to me he was a "regular," someone who comes by our church and others when they need some extra help. He asked if we could talk in private, and of course we could, and he proceeded to tell me about the financial trouble he and his three kids were in, how he just needed a little bit to buy pampers and some food, etc. Typically our church has gift cards to grocery stores or gas stations to help in cases like this, but our office staff and pastor were away that week. So as I sat there listening to this guy in trouble, with his disheveled appearance and story to match, I couldn't just turn him away. I gave him twenty bucks (though he said ten more would really do it : ), prayed over him, the money and his kids, he said "thank you" and walked out the door.

And then that was it. He was gone, to the store or where ever, with some money in hand and I went back into church to pick up my bulletin, get Hugh to the nursery and the other things more typical of a Sunday morning. Something felt odd though, like the whole situation wasn't according to the script. Not that there is a standard way things must be done (this isn't my large mega-company following some nit-picky corporate process), but was there something more I should have done? Was there something different he should have done? Why were there these feelings of discontent when the guy left with (a portion of) what he came in for?

I think in the end this whole episode was a small glimmer of something much greater. Here was a guy coming to a church in look for financial help, and he should have found it. He did find it! But the whole reason he comes into a church building in the first place is because of Who a church follows, and how they choose to make that known. Thankfully in this case our reputation proceeded us. And I feel bad for this guy, like I should give him some money. I did give him some money! But that would last him for a short amount of time and as a church person I know there are more sustaining things than cash, at least when looking from a different angle. Handing over some paper felt somewhat hollow. The two of us acted out a scene that was pretty good, but it was only like a reflection in a dim mirror, when what we really needed was to see without a mirror at all. Or something like that : )